Sometimes I wish I knew what it was like to do well in social situations and not make things completely weird. I’m the kind of person that can make a telemarketer or customer service representative feel so uncomfortable that it’s obvious they want to end the call. I think this is why I hate the phone. I never know what to say and what I probably shouldn’t say and while juggling between the two, I always seem to blurt out the random, things I never really intended to say. Then I feel the need to ask if I’m making things awkward and apologize for doing so, further making the situation uncomfortable. Meeting new people is just as awkward if not worse. Where do I look? What am I supposed to day? What do I do with my hands? How long should I make eye contact before it becomes awkward? People are difficult to communicate with. Animals are so much easier. They don’t lie. They don’t pretend to be your friend and don’t judge you for being you because they have no use for that kind of behavior. Straight to the point. If they don’t like you, they will let you know.
I’m lucky my husband is the same breed of awkward as me. He has the ability to notice even the tiniest details. Most of all, he notices all the weird, embarrassing things that people hope nobody noticed. Facial expression, body language… there is no hiding from him. Maybe that’s why we make such a great pair. We can be 100% ourselves, all flaws included and we love each other regardless. In fact, we thrive on catching each other doing weird, embarrassing things. Now that I sit here and write this, maybe it’s wrong to wish I could be “normal”. Not everybody knows how to interact with complicated, confusing humans and that’s okay.
I didn’t really get to a point here and now I’m not really even sure what point I was trying to make to begin with. Brain vomit.
I don’t know how to end this…
well, this is awkward so…
I’ve said awkward 6 times.
Don’t judge me.